My life stories · The stories we read

Motherhood According to Stories.

I have a pile of unfinished posts waiting for me, but instead I’m writing this one. The others will be finished; it’s just that lately my writing has been in smaller spurts and I haven’t had the time or brains to complete some of the more complex posts that are simmering in the draft archives.

But you know those times when a quote from a movie or book pops into your head at just the right moment? It’s like the characters characters from those stories are hibernating in your head, and when the right scenario plays before you, they rise up to join the conversation with their own brand of humor. Allow me to demonstrate:

When my son mixes up or uses the wrong words, like saying “virgin” when the correct word is “version”:

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”  Indeed, Inigo. Indeed.

When my daughter, um, expresses her displeasure:

“I should say one of her ladyship’s (issues), for she has several.” Oh Mr. Colins, when you say that with your unmistakeable, simpering smile, how can I but agree with you?

“No lace, Mrs. Bennet, no lace! Would he have sprained his ankle in the first dance!” If you replace “lace” with “poop” and “Mrs. Bennet” with ____ child’s name, I’d say Mr. Bennet perfectly captures my thoughts on much of our dinner time conversations. If I repeat the part about the sprained ankle, my kids are usually too busy making potty humor to notice it. Might as well throw that part in for kicks.

When one or both of our children are on the verge of meltdown/hysteria/attempting world domination:

“Connect, Respect, Protect.” The TV show Flashpoint is really great for parenting, you know? Not just for dealing with those people who wave guns around. Mike and I have repeated this motto to each other when on the verge of going scorpio, all crazy-desperate-parent style. If nothing else, we get a chuckle out of it, which might make our kids even more angry…but at least we are stabilized. Moving on. Our kids aren’t the enemy, they’re little human beings in need of loving guidance and correction.

When my kids try to negotiate with me:

“Come here. I wanna let you in on a little secret. Closer, closer…I DON’T MAKE DEALS WITH PEASANTS.” Maybe I’m just a fuzzy lama after all, but I’m a fuzzy mama lama and I know who’s in charge here.

I just love stories with good characters. Sometimes they help me survive some of the challenges of raising small children with humorous perspective.

Next I should write a post using all the quotes I think of relating to the warm, delightful elements of parenting small children. Balance is good, no?

And no, in case you’re wondering, I have not had a bad day. 🙂


4 thoughts on “Motherhood According to Stories.

  1. this was awesome. I have the same things going on in my head all the time! & I use Flashpoint a lot for difficult children/classmates or tense situations. I hear Greg Parker’s therapeutic communication lectures in my head haha.

    1. Ok I am so glad I’m not the only one who relates Flashpoint to interacting with kids-I had second thoughts about this post sounding slightly off:)

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