I joined a blogging challenge this month and have fallen off the wagon so quickly it’s like I was never on in the first place. Some of the assignments I’ve already done anyway-like set up an About page, although mine could do with some tweaking.
After spending most of my writing time working on my novel and magazine writing lately, I decided to give one assignment a shot. I know, talk about commitment. I chose this topic because, as aggravated as I can be at my son for being a 5-year-old who is learning the basics (and as much as we both need practice in every day lessons), there is something undeniably hilarious about how easily distracted he can be. So here is my list post.
How to get dressed like a 5-year-old in 11 easy steps
1) When your mom tells you to get dressed, now’s the time to start swinging from your bunk bed. It is, after all, the first thing to catch your eye upon entering your room.
2) Keep swinging….
3) Act like you TOTALLY forgot what you were supposed to be doing when mom comes in to find you practicing your very best monkey swing. Except you’re not really acting.
4) Amble to your dresser, pull out a clean pair of underwear and fling it on the floor. At this point, you have one of two options: if you are fresh out of the bath, start dancing around like a crazy-head. If you are still in jammies, pretend your head is stuck when removing your shirt.
5) Now’s a good time to assume your little sister will come in and COMPLETELY AGAINST YOUR WILL instigate a game of chase. You have no choice but to comply.
6) At this point mom will again enter your room and demand to know why you are not dressed. Explain it’s all your sister’s fault. (Hint: mom won’t buy it.) Return to dresser.
7) Pull on one article of clothing. If you were in your jammies, now is the time to fling them on the floor. After all, you can’t let all that practice go to waste.
8) Roll around on the floor.
9) When mom comes in again, you will jump up and scramble into an old pair of shorts lying conveniently next to you on the floor-except they turn out to be your sister’s shirt. This makes mom laugh, which is good, because a few seconds ago she looked like she was about to change into the Hulk.
10) Pull on the shorts mom throws at you with that angelic smile of yours beaming from your adorable face.
11) After all that hard labor, announce to mom that you are too tired to do anything else. Slouch your shoulders for effect.
Oh, wait…mom won’t buy it.