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A Quiet Growth

This year so far I’ve mostly focused on writing quantity over quality. At least, it looks that way by what I’ve published.

The benefits of this are many. I’ve bulldozed roadblocks of fear to creativity. Stifling thoughts, all things related to “not good enough”, all things that make me think my idea isn’t worth sharing or, even worse, not worth writing at all, have started to break down. It just feels good to create. It’s similar to my doodling: I may be years away from selling my drawings; maybe I never will. (Here’s where the similarities end because one day I will be a published author.) But I feel a little more like myself when I get out my colored pencils, and that’s good.

Of course, meanwhile all these other desires keep tugging on me. This writing contest, that deeply rooted project-they sometimes demand my attention right now, clamoring for energy and cultivation that I don’t have yet. The time isn’t right and I’m learning that slow isn’t bad. “Just wait,” I tell my clamoring dreams. “Your time will come. I’ll plant a bit here, weed a bit there- I may have a black thumb when it comes to plants, but I can’t kill these dreams or these projects. One day you’ll come to fruition.”

I’m learning to quell thoughts like, “You posted WHAT?!” because art is not perfect and if it helps you to show up, I think you should just do it. I trust that there is more at work than what I can offer right now. Eventually, it’ll be ready.

Whatever your project is, you don’t have to be discouraged by slow progress. What’s worth doing takes time. And when it’s ready, it will be all the more beautiful for your honoring of every little step.

 

Can you see the tiny green oranges?
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2 thoughts on “A Quiet Growth

  1. Ah, those feelings. I have the “you posted that?!” thoughts fairly often, but it’s important to learn not to let that inner critic rule everything. It can be helpful, yes, but sometimes it just doesn’t know what it’s talking about. : )

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